The Therapy Trail

May 1, 2017

Crunch.

The sound of the rocky trail under my boots gives me energy. A purpose.

Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

With every step, every climb, every hike, I step further away from depression.

I struggled with it, on and off.

"How are you?" Everyone asks.

"I'm okay," I fake a smile.

Sometimes, I battled with depression, but no one can tell. Social media shows the filtered moments of my life. I take a selfie on the tough days. I choose the appropriate filter to hide the sadness. It's like dressing up for church on Sunday, while inside you're a tangled mess. Sweeping the dirt and crumbs under the rug, until you have time to deal with the real problem. I was the main actress in the film "Nothing Is Wrong".

You Will Conquer This Mountain

April 5, 2017

Defeated.

Exhausted.

Hopeless.

Just a few words that describe how I felt on this path. I could see the mountain ahead of me, but every day I became a little weaker in my stride. Every day I lost a piece of the compass. I forgot what the map looked like. My backpack became heavier.

Where was I going? Would I even be able to get there?

It was impossible to answer. I don't know.

Finding Balance on the Trail

March 15, 2017

Balance. One of those words you know is good for you, but you never get around to doing it, right? It's like that workout plan you promised yourself on New Year's. The diet that didn't last. The fancy water bottle you bought that tracks how much you should be drinking, but in the end, it's another 20 wasted bucks. Oh, I'll have more balance in my life tomorrow. Then tomorrow turns into a few more days. Months. Years. Whoa. You're in your mid-twenties, freaking out.

Where did the balance go?

Sigh.

A Haven in Hiking

January 29, 2017

I've been asked, "When did you start hiking?"

It's an answer I hardly thought about. But truthfully, it was when I felt like my life was falling apart. Like my world was spinning on the wrong axis. When my heart couldn't take anymore, and wanted to crumble into a million tiny pieces. That's when I would take my pity party on a hike.

I found a haven in hiking. A secret getaway I never knew I needed. A hideaway from the mess, the problems, and people. It was just me and God. And I found comfort in that.

The Path Ahead

January 14, 2017

The first hike of 2016.

It started out easy, but became tough. Similar to how the year had been.

I'll never forget it. A love/hate relationship. The thorn in my side. A memory that makes you cringe. But still, pictures you look back at it, and smile. A very confusing, and at times, a dark year.

Once I thought I had mastered a part of my life, I was faced with another challenge. Another problem. Another struggle.