Defeated.
Exhausted.
Hopeless.
Just a few words that describe how I felt on this path. I could see the mountain ahead of me, but every day I became a little weaker in my stride. Every day I lost a piece of the compass. I forgot what the map looked like. My backpack became heavier.
Where was I going? Would I even be able to get there?
It was impossible to answer. I don't know.
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Balance. One of those words you know is good for you, but you never get around to doing it, right? It's like that workout plan you promised yourself on New Year's. The diet that didn't last. The fancy water bottle you bought that tracks how much you should be drinking, but in the end, it's another 20 wasted bucks. Oh, I'll have more balance in my life tomorrow. Then tomorrow turns into a few more days. Months. Years. Whoa. You're in your mid-twenties, freaking out.
Where did the balance go?
Sigh.
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Pictures don't show the full story.
"Are you sure you want to do this hike?"
"Yes," I reply. But in my head I can think of a list of reasons why I'm not ready.
Turtlehead Peak was a hike I had been eyeing for months, but I wasn't completely ready. I was out of shape, unmotivated, and feeling like I was at rock bottom in life. All things that can be a recipe for disaster. A few weeks prior, I had found out scary news about my health. Work was taking everything out of me. Friends were gone. Relationships felt stagnant. Life had changed, and was changing.
The last thing I needed to do was (literally) climb a mountain, when I had so many "theatrical" ones in my life.
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